Face Up

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious Most Merciful

Salam and Peace to all

The highway road now turning into a gravel road.

Plus, with the broken-down car that I'm driving.

And I'm in the middle of nowhere.

Oh Allah, please guide me (T T)

Guide me in Your straight path.

Guide me to Your Jannah.

"And seek help in patience and As-Salat (the prayers) and truly, it is extremely heavy and hard except for Al-Khashi'un [i.e. the true believers in Allah - those who obey Allah with full submission, fear much from His punishment, and believe in His Promise (Paradise) and His Warnings (Hell)]" [Al-Baqarah 2:45]

It's late and I am tired

Wish I could spark a smile

The place is flying high

But right now I want to be low

Don't want to move an inch

Let alone a million miles

And I don't want to go but I know I gotta go

I just want to feel alive

The times you don't wanna wake up

'Cause in your sleep it's never over when you give up

The sun is always gonna rise up

You need to get up, gotta keep your head up

Look at the people all around you

The way you feel is something everybody goes through

Dark out, but you still gotta light up

You need to wake up, gotta keep your face up

Seems like the more you grow

The more time you spend alone

Before you know it

You end up perfectly on your own

The city's shining bright

But you don't see the light

How come you concentrate on things

That don't make you feel right

I just want to feel alright

I'm looking for more than a little bit

I'm gonna have to find my way through it

Gonna leave a mark, I'm gonna set a spark

I'm coming up off the ground

I won't be looking down

- Face Up by Lights

Walking

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious Most Merciful

Salam and Peace to all

I’m walking to the day

I’m walking to the day

Welcome the second half of the year *firework*
Now is the determination time.
Like football match, isn't the real match begins at the second half?
It's only after the second half we'll know the winner.

So, have I warmed up?

Another thing that I should be prepared is the Ramadhan, the Fasting Month.
This time, I'm fortunate to be able to celebrate it with my family here (^^,)

So, have I warmed up?

I do miss my Ramadhan in Melbourne.
Felt excited when seeing the people there are so eager to provide food for iftar to the other.
I can count with my fingers how many times I had my iftar at home.
There's no need for bazaar as everyone there is a good cook and offer their cook freely.
All in all, Ramadhan is not about food, it's about our submission to Allah.

Missing the tarawih there, at Pelham Musolla, Albanian Mosque, and mostly, at ICV.
The way that the imam at ICV recites ayatul Quran was so touching and soothing at the same time.
Even though he recited 1juz of Quran for the 8 rakaat prayer, I didn't feel tired at all.
I'm glad that I had a chance to tarawih there.
Oh, I can't forget tarawih at the Albanian Mosque, just 5 mins walk from my house.
My housemate and I used to walk to the mosque while wearing telekung.
We might scared anyone who passed by us..haha
I still remember how me, anith and muz once cracked up while praying there.
Because of the mazhab difference, they recite qunut before rukuq.
So, when everyone lifted up their hand for qunut, me n anith bent down for rukuq.
Then, when everyone bent down for rukuq, muz down for sujud.
Can you imagine the situation?
That made us laugh non-stop and we couldn't stay any longer for zikir, straight away went back after the salam..haha~

Ramadhan is like a training period, and hope to maintain the momentum for the rest of another 11 months.
That's a challenge actually, even to keep the momentum throughout the Ramadhan is so hard for me.
But, let's try. Try to win our nafs. And use Ramadhan as the starting point.
Wait, use this moment now as a starting point. Insya Allah.

Well, I guess this also apply to my 3 years of 'travelling' away from home.
Like what a senior said, "I found 99% of myself here".
I feel some kind of upgraded, as compare to the previous version of myself.
But, I couldn't retain that upgrade now, after came back from that travelling.
Maybe because of it's so cozy and accessible here till the mature and independent part of me being diluted day by day.
I don't want to depend on others so much, but I couldn't resist.
You have your family and friends here that you could depend on.
That's the best thing about living here.
I guess I take that for granted.
So, I'm trying to keep moving again to gain back that momentum.

I'm gonna end my service at UTP by the end of this month.
It's a worthwhile 5 months of my time here.
I learned so many things, interact with so many people (who are mostly older than me).
I regret that I couldn't give my best.
I wish to have more knowledge and experience to boost up my confidence.
Age is not the matter, its the experience that matter.
Because through the experience builds the maturity and increase the level of thinking.
So, I wanna keep walking and experience more.
As I don't want to be stagnant forever in my life.
I'm not arriving at my final destination yet, it's just the pit stop, and I need to keep walking.

"Abu Dharr (r.a.) reported that Rasulullah (s.a.w) said: Don't consider anything insignificant out of good things, even if it is that you meet your brother with a cheerful countenance" [Sahih Muslim]

The song that I enjoy to listen to in the morning to start my new day

Each step gets further as I walk farther and farther

If I trip over my feet and fall, I can just brush myself off

Like the dreams that are forgotten in the morning

These moments will continue to be forgotten

The yearnings and even this pain, everything

Past the tough trust and misunderstanding

Though the road ahead seems far

I’m walking over the tall hills

I’m walking with these old sneakers

I’m walking every single day

Till always, till always

One step toward the vast blue sky

One step toward the finish line far ahead

I’m walking till that someplace that will come tomorrow

Where is that someplace?

Out of the many people that I’ve met

In my heart there was a special person

If there is only one love

In the dry and barren desert somewhere

If I don’t want to stop my tired footsteps

That person would be strength to me

In this place where I place my two feet

In this place where I am staying

The momentary peace finds me and I get used to it

The temptation of wanting to stay a little bit more

Makes me just sit down (almost there, almost there)

Though the road ahead seems far

Though I may be crippled, who is tired at times

And though I would have my footsteps against the wind

I will walk with the rhythm till always, till always

- Walking by Super Junior

p/s ~ realise that I rarely spend my Ramadhan with my family since I was at boarding school, then to INTEC, and then flew to Melbourne. hmm..

We Live In OZ

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious Most Merciful

Salam and Peace to all

Now it's almost accurately 3 years I have been here in Melbourne. So many memories and feelings to share and reminisce.

First Year [2009]

..open your eyes open your eyes again to the new world
where where to find a new day
anybody, nobody will ever know about
we live in oz..

Before fly at KLIA [16.02.2009]

Welcoming BBQ at Brighton Beach [28.02.2009]


Philip Island trip [21.03.2009]


With Chem Lecturer Prof. Rizzacassa [27.03.2009]

With housemate at St Kilda Beach [11.04.2009]

Picnic at Fitzroy Garden [14.04.2009]

My Usrah group [30.05.2009]


Winter holidays with friends from Tasmania [28.06.2009]


Winter Trip Sydney-Canberra [10-14.07.2009]

Farewell Sis Abby [29.08.2009]

Break-fast at Alamaro Restaurant [18.09.2009]

Eidulfitri [20.09.2009]

All in all, my first year life is generally simple and moderate. Even ordinary things in Melbourne could fascinate me. We lived simple, ate simple foods, wore simple plain clothes (not into shopping yet), and we're so close among the first years. And so with the seniors too. Life was challenging and getting complicated, trying to adapt with uni life, aussie life, been swindled left and right, been tested on the friendship, my self-esteem messed up. To survive that, that's an accomplishment. Lecturers are mostly cool and awesome (and handsome too =P)

"Who has made for you the earth like a bed, and has made for you roads therein, in order that you may find your way" [Az-Zukhruf 43:10]

Second Year [2010]

..and the things we wanted that we hoped for
to me, to me, to my honesty
anybody, nobody can replace
We live We dream We live We dream..

Sand Sculpture at Frankston [16.01.2010]

Watching the entertaining Aboriginal Performance [21.03.2010]

EHSAN trip to Great Ocean Road [02.04.2010]

Usrah at Geelong [08.04.2010]

Sovereign Hill, Ballarat [29.06.2010]

With my housemates at Mount Wellington, Tasmania [06.07.2010]

Trip to Tasmania [06-10.07.2010]

Lake Mountain [15.07.2010]

Sounds of Light Concert [24.07.2010]

Eidulfitri Open House at Amess [17.09.2010]

Malaysian Aspiration Program [26.07.2010]

Spring holidays with Aufa & her cousins [27.09-01.10.2010]

Summer with Aufa [20-22.11.2010]

Working at a cherry factory in Alexandra [04-14.12.2010]

This year was pretty amusing. Moved out to a new house, got a new housemate, still with Muz as my roommate. Got new friends, mixed around with lots of people, and involved with lots of activities. Had enough money to go trips and vacations, shopping, and eat plenty of foods at various eateries. Study became more interesting as the subjects go more in depth with the course. 

"A Muslim who meets with others and shares their burdens is better than the one who lives a life of seclusion and contemplation" (Muslim)

Third Year [2011]

..One more try give it one more try
take a deep breath and open your eyes again
Give it one more try just another try
realize all the dreams you had held in for so long
Remember your forgotten dreams..

Retreat EHSAN comittee 10/11 [26.02.2011]

Methods in Agrifood Biotech project: Screening transgenic A.thaliana [23.03-28.04.2011]

Grampians Trip [27.04.2011]

With Advance Food Analysis lecturer, Dr Said Ajllouni [24.05.2011]

Friends visit from Malaysia [08.06.2011]

Trip to New Zealand [28.06-10.07.2011]

Eidulfitri prayer at Flagstaff Garden [31.08.2011]

Spring holidays with Chema & Atie [11-21.09.2011]

Graduation [19.12.2011]

Family visit [14-20-12.2011]

New year at Wilson Prom [31-12-01.01.2011]

Bonus picture: Tennis Australian Open [16.01.2012]

No more fun this year. Third year already, and every subject matter. Busy with studying, club activities (as I'm an EHSAN committee), and many more. Still, manage to have getaways to Grampians and New Zealand. Totally had fun with third year subjects, classes get smaller, able to interact more with the students and lecturers. But, since the course getting more specified, every one goes on their own way (agrifood or pharmacology or microbiology or biochemistry or genetics). Glad to have my own study mate: Ros, Syed and Ariff. We rocks, you all know! haha

"He it is Who enables you to travel through land and sea, till when you are in the ships, and they sail with them with a favourable wind, and they are glad therein, then comes a stormy wind and the waves come to them from all sides, and they think that they are encircled therein. Then they invoke Allah, making their Faith pure for Him Alone, (saying): 'If You (Allah) deliver us from this, we shall truly, be grateful'" [Yunus 10: 22]

- We Live In OZ by Clazziquai Project

p/s: Feels so touched with the farewell party and the small gift from Sis Baie. That gift, although simple, but that is the thing that I've been looking for. Jazakillahu khayran (^^,)

Shut Up

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious Most Merciful

Salam and Peace to all..

Have you ever encounter the feeling that you thought you really know someone, but it end up you only know a lil bit of that person?

Well, that is so true..

I guess nobody really knows other person inside out..

I mean REALLY..

Even a mother towards her child..

Or even between a long married couple..

Or even between the two BFF..

Our knowledge bout a person, for me, just like a piece of jigsaw puzzle..

One can has a piece, or two or more..

But neither has a complete pieces to get a clear picture of who a person is..

I mean NOBODY..

Because I believe that only Allah knows the person the best, inside and out..

Only He has the right to judge the person..

Because He creates us..

"And with Him are the keys of the Ghaib (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record" [Al-An'am 6:59]

Thus, who are we to put our judge on other? *knock myself -toink-*

Are we the creator? Do we TOTALLY know that person?

The answer is for surely NO..

Our judgement will not be reliable since we only know just a piece of information..

Well, I might say scientifically is proven..

Cause science is full of assumptions..

But this is not a scientifically matter, this is a real life, psychologically, we talk about human behaviour..

(ok, I'm talking a bit nonsense now)

Why do we judge others, or being prejudice towards others?

Because we saw others imperfection

Then we think we are perfect/much better 

Even actually we are not.. *knock myself again -toink-*

Doesn't this relates to the feeling of arrogant (takabbur) *nauzubillah minzalik*

I don't want to give example situation..

There's a lot of this happen everyday in our life, either we realise or not..

Just think for a moment, how many times in a day we praise instead of criticising others?

Just keep the answer for yourself..

One way to avoid being judgmental is, think positive towards other person..

Lets say the person did one annoying thing,

Instead of give criticism, give the person 100, no, 1000 reasons for why did the person did it..

Among the 1000 reasons, there would be a possibility for a positive one, right? (even just 1)

Then just keep the positive one, and discard the rest 999 negative reasons..

It's not easy, but lets just try it..

Or, why not just ask, in a decent way, like being concern, not being skeptical..

The person may be pleased to tell you the reason..

Probably this might change they way you think bout the person, who knows

Narrated Abu Huraira (Radi-Allahu 'anhu): The Prophet (Sallallahu 'Alaihi Wa Sallam) said, "Beware of suspicion (about others), as suspicion is the falsest talk, and do not spy upon each other, and do not listen to the evil talk of the people about others' affairs, and do not have enmity with one another, but be brothers. And none should ask for the hand of a girl who is already engaged to his Muslim brother, but one should wait till the first suitor marries her or leaves her." [Bukhari]

In a nutshell, DEXMA, don't assume others (like Pn Haz said: ass-u-me =P)

Don't be judgmental on others (but you can if you did lab experiment)

Don't be prejudice and skeptical

Don't be arrogant (accept the good criticism, it's totally different than judgement)

And... just shut up instead of saying bad words that might hurt other.. *knock myself hardly -TOK!-*

p/s ~ Un-startled, like a lion at sounds; un-snared, like the wind in a net; un-smeared, like a lotus in water; wander alone, like a rhinoceros

Skyline

Salam and peace to all..

I think I think a little too much

In my room where I can’t sleep

I want to just run away from this night

My sighs fall onto the window

I want to fly far away

Away from the moonlight

What should I do?

I want to fly well, I want to fly well

I just don’t know how to fly...

I want to fly well, I want to fly well

I wish someone would teach me

Surely everything’s unfamiliar

Even the TV is full of lies

I keep running for shelter from the rain

I can’t go on like this

I don’t care if I get drenched

I want to fly well I want to fly well

In order to learn to fly...

I want to fly well I want to fly well

You have to get out into the sky, to skyline

I can’t wait for my chance

How many of the same old mornings

Have I counted so far, picturing the skyline

I don’t know how to fly

I don’t even know if I can fly

I want to fly well I want to fly well

But I’ll go

I want to fly well I want to fly well

In order to learn to fly...

I want to fly well I want to fly well

You have to get out into the sky, to skyline

- Yui: Skyline

I found this great song while watching Taiyou No Uta movie (aka Song of the Sun)

This movie is about a girl who suffers XP (xeroderma pigmentosum), an incurable disease that might cause death if expose to the sun

I reflect to myself, how grateful I am, even though I sometimes complaints how sun might burn/darken my skin, I still can enjoy the sunshine for the sake of vitamin D for my body

I can be active during the day, while still enjoying the night

But this girl doesn't

She can't go to school, even going out to play during the day

She slept when sunrise and woke up at sunset

Living a way different life from me

You know, what is the best motivation?

For me is the one given by someone who is in pain but still could give the sweetest smile ever

How could we compare our pain to someone who faced the greatest challenges

But still could give comfort to others?

There's none other than our Prophet Muhammad SAW

He suffered a lot since before his born,

His father died while he was 8 months in his mother womb

Then his mother died

Followed by his grandfather, then his wife Khadijah while he was carrying his duty as a messenger

He bore any attacks, criticism against him

Just for the sake of "Say, He is Allah, the one" [121:1]

He brings rahmat to every mankind, even till now and forever

What a beautiful inspiration, isn't it?

What do I suffer? Nothing much

I guess being aware of others suffering could open our eyes, and make us being grateful for what we have

At the same time teach us to be strong

Just like the lyrics, I really want to fly well

Towards the sky, and I need to learn how to fly, in a right way

I know, I have a lot to learn, long way to go to touch the sky

It takes time, isn't it?

But I wonder, what the sky might offer me

My destiny, still unknown

Still, I can design it to get a good result, herein and hereafter

Allah knows best..

p/s ~ my flight to new zealand tomorrow..hope i'll have a safe journey, not be affected by the Chilean volcanic ash

All About You

What it is all about me?

I'm not a girl..not yet a woman..
I'm a growing up adult..right?
Ok, this year i will be 21..
What people around my age do?
My friends are mostly uni students in various courses and degree they selected..
And one of my friend will get married in this coming october..
What about other people at my age achieved?
Sultan Muhammad Al-Fateh opened Constantinople at about the age..
Usamah ibn Zayd was a commander for a great army to 'Byzantine'..
In the wide scope, Nicole Ann David won gold medal for various squash world tournament at that age..
Mark Zuckerberg founding Facebook at his 20 and now is the youngest billionaire in the world..
Even So Nyeo Shi Dae who is about as the same age as me now achieved tons of awards and get 304,528++ fans all over the world..

What do I achieved?
Nothing yet..but who knows, sooner or later..
I guess this is a part of growing up adult..
Worrying every single things in life..
Or just goes with the flow sometimes..
Making mistakes, gaining experiences..
Start to plan for the future..
Need to care other things rather than yourself..etc..etc..

Lots things to do and need a proper plan..
All I have to do is taking all the risks and need determination..
Combination of IQ together with EQ...
And long-term spirit and guidance..
That is my role as the youth for my religion,country and family..

Here I would like to share some meaningful quotes from a Korean variety show, Invincible Youth..

Youth is..

Carrying light inside your heart..

In order to find the hidden light..

You live diligently today as well..

Youth is..

Experiencing the warmth of sweat..

And finding out the heart is warmer than body..

Youth is..

Searching for something precious..

In the end, you can't see it..

Nor can you touch it..

It simply gets carved into your heart..

Youth is..

Experiencing in real life what you learned in books..

And contemplating things..

Today as well..

Life's coolest and most precious moment..

Is what we're currently living through..

To the young..

To the young, life is..

The passion of the young and the experience of the elderly..

Becoming a cogwheel and spinning around each other..

Working to complete the recipe of life..

Youth are..

Inexperienced, so it's easy for them to lose their way..

If they loose their way once..

They aren't able to go back, and that is also a part of youth..

In order to prevent losing your precious days..

Just keep walking down the path you're on..

Youth is..

Being surrounded by such beautiful scenery that..

Our destination..

Is not realized during this moment..

What beautiful days we are living through..

Look at the scenery around you right now..

Youth is..

They say that there are no answers in life, but..

You can't get far by yourself..

We embrace each other and..

We run around until our hearts are about to explode..

They will remember these beautiful moments with us, so..

We hope that they will live forever..

In life, winter always comes..

Some will consider it to be freezing cold, but..

Others will remember the splendid days that are as beautiful as snow covered branches..

Youth are special in that they shine brighter when they are together..

To help us endure the cold winter..

We received another memory as a present..

To youth..

You don't learn everything in life by studying..

Loving without holding back..

Receiving love without holding back..

While loving like that..

We're learning how to love..

p/s~ long winter holidays will be end..now I need to set my mind back to school..fighting!

Dear Mom

Salam and Peace to all..

what i'm gonna write here maybe some people might find it as a cliche..
things that common during mother's day..
people said, we should celebrate it everyday..
for me,there is nothing wrong to make a day special for our own mother..

Dear mom,
i'm far away from you..but my thoughts always be with you..
the most beautiful woman that i ever know..
with beautiful heart, beautiful smile..
the one that i spent time most during past holiday..
the one that knows me inside and out..
the one that i depend for and my favourite confidant..
it is you..

i miss you so much..
i miss doing everything together even as simple as watching dramas on tv..
i miss played badminton together..
i miss gardening together..
i just miss them all..

i don't know how to describe my feelings in words..
as i'm not really good in expressing my feeling..
especially to the person that i loved..
i just wanna let you know, i'm trying my best here
to be a good and better person as an adult
not like a child anymore..
i'm trying..

mom..
whenever i feel so difficult and exhausting..
your words often comfort me..
whenever i called you..
your worried voice asked if i've eaten
remind me of the forgotten promises made..
that i will be a person with pretty heart
and become a person who is selfless
i will fulfill the wishes of your love..
i think of you who used to share my dreams and brush my hair

although at times i hurt you because of my wrong decisions..
you silently watched over me from behind
although i'm still a young and clumsy child..
i think i understand now
the meaning of your silent prayers..

what will i do, yet my heart is still so small..
can i do better without holding your hand?
i'm not sure if i can make it without you..
i’m afraid that it will still lack
i don't think i'm ready yet, and i'm scared..

i just need your courage
i know that you always been there for me..

i will become a wise daughter for you..
i will be a proud daughter no matter where i go
i will show endless love
i will have a warm heart
with the love that you have shown me..

i was to shy to express to you clearly
that i really love you, my mom~~~

Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head

Salam and peace to all..

I'm not going anywhere..i'm still here..just had uncontrollable lazy attitude to update my simple and not worth to be read blog..hehe~

Autumn is here..sometimes sunny, sometimes cloudy, and there are the times for raining..
just a light shower, no thunderstorm or what-so-ever..
temperature is getting colder, but still able to cycle to uni as early at 7.30am
last summer, people so excited bout the unexpected hailstorm..
so unpredictable weather with clear and bright day in the morning then sudden heavy rain and hailstorm in the evening..
heard in the news, many people got injured, cars damaged and rooftops crashed down due to hailstorm..
even my friend house was flooded that time..all happened in just 2-3 hours..
Allah Al-Muqtadir (The Most Powerful)~

I Asked for Strength....
And Allah gave me Difficulties to make Strong
I Asked for Wisdom.....
Allah gave me Problem to Solve
I Asked for Prosperity...
And Allah gave me Brain and Brawn to work
I Asked for Courage....
And Allah gave me Danger to overcome
I Asked for Love.......
And Allah gave I troubled people to help
I Asked for Favours...
And Allah gave me Opportunities
I received nothing I wanted...
I received Anything i needed
My Prayer has been answered
So blessed by Allah ,the Best of Creators 

because of rain, i had a fever for 4days..unable to go out on last easter hols =(
because of rain, i cycled all my strength so that i can arrive home quickly..end up getting wet and dirty from head to toe
because of rain, it restricted me from going out more often and stay at home instead..save money..
because of Rain, i am a korean crazy..(out of topic..haha =D)
just wanna share this oldie song by BJ Thomes~

Raindrops keep falling on my head
Just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed
Nothing seems to fit
Oh raindrops keep falling on my head
Keep a-falling

Cos I just done me some talking to the sun
And I said I didn't like the way he got things done
Sleeping on the job
Oh raindrops keep falling on my head
Keep a-falling

But there's one thing I know
The blues they send to meet me won't defeat me
It won't be long till happiness comes up to greet me,
to greet, greet, greet, me

Raindrops keep falling on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red
Crying is not for me
Cos I ain't gonna stop the rain by complaining

Because I'm free, nothing's bothering me
Because I'm free, and nothing's bothering me
Because I'm free, and nothing's bothering me
Because I'm free, and nothing's bothering me

p/s ~ to the novel addicts, why not catch up this short and meaningful novel that truly worth to read for..Life On A Refrigerator Door by Alice Kuipers..